I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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