my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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