Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
