Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
