i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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