just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
