am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
