Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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