I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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