their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
