sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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