Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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