Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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