Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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