Whod you bang
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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