u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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