What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
