After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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