Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
