Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i will never coherently bang her
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
