Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
