So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
