If i come over, it means nothing
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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