You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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