we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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