Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize