Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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