Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
