the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
