Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
