So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize