I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
