I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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