i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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