'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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