do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
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He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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