You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
