We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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