I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Randomize
