Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
