Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
