I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
