The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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