hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize