I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
