you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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