Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
