I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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