Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize