Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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