The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Drunk is not a location!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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