just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
operation harelip BJ is a go
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
