therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
