its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
