My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
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I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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