I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Randomize
