winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
