I just cut my nipple shaving
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
either way he was missing a nipple.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
