Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
