Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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