u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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