addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
