we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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